6.17.2011

Let me tell you how awful Yossi Berg and Oded Graf’s work was


Movement means nothing unless it has a context.

Walking down the street has an obvious context: you are going somewhere. You’re moving through a space—objectively real and subjectively perceived—toward a destination according to a purpose. Your gait, the path you choose, your physical reactions to the changing, passing environment: it’s impossible for any of this movement to be irrelevant.

In dance, context is wiped clean by the darkness of the theater before a piece begins. It has to be made on the spot, before the audience’s eyes. The choreographer’s task is to develop a synthetic context for their dancers’ movement either through references to or evocations of extra-performative reality or within the container of the performance itself by establishing movement and gesture and subsequent repetition and variation.

The risk is that, if the choreography and its performance don’t combine to form their own context, the movement will be meaningless, relevant to nothing. Yossi Berg and Oded Graf’s hour-long dance theater piece “Animal Lost,” performed June 14 in Duke University’s Reynolds Industries Theater at the American Dance Festival, is one of the most intensely irrelevant artworks I’ve ever seen.

Purporting to explore “stereotypes, misperceptions, and social clichés,” Berg and Graf instead almost willfully refuse to interrogate them. Instead they show themselves capable only of restating the same stereotypes and clichés that they’ve been consuming from popular culture, presuming that the fact of their performing the piece on an ADF stage will take care of the exploration by default. No dice.

What Berg and Graf accomplish is an incoherent mash-up of group movement improv and 7th-grade poetry workshop fodder. They figure that if you just start moving, then you’ll eventually move in some significant way, and that if you just start saying then you’ll gradually say something. And that’s, like, gonna be deep and stuff.

The audience enters to a bare stage with a green curtain for a backdrop. As the piece opens, a female dancer in club clothes stands at the front of one side of the stage, holding a horse-head mask in profile against her chest. She delivers a rhymed, metric monologue that’s supposed to be seductive but is so facile and random that it’s embarrassing. And (this will become a theme) it goes on for way too long—in fact she repeats it. The text is brutally dumb but drew chuckles from the students in the audience, the kinds of chuckles you made when you read the inside jokes in all your friends’ signatures in your yearbook. Have an awesome summer!

The other five dancers in the company enter, wearing clubbing clothes and animal masks that cover the entire head: pig, rabbit, panda, penguin, horse of course, and either a polar bear or a wolf. They stand in place and all do a robotic hip-shaker gyration for way too long. Then they slowly begin undressing themselves.

I think this was supposed to be equal parts erotic and surreal, but it ended up being the dullest striptease of all time. Not-undressing is more erotic that what they did. And the clothes on a hanger in their closet would be much more surreal. Their movements showed neither precision nor humor, either. The curl of the unnecessary dry-ice mist across the stage in this section provided some of the most compelling movement of the evening.

And the masks. Their usage of the masks consisted entirely of merely putting them on. When the pig and rabbit made out with each other, they approached actually using the masks to mean something. But otherwise it was a mere novelty—something for the company’s poster in the lobby and the ADF ticket-sales printed piece. The masks were not used to interrogate identity and species, or to point out humanity’s membership in Linnaeus’ animal kingdom, or to explode the idea of rigid roles.

This work reminded me of those dress-up areas in children’s museums, with a chest of costumes and masks for kids to dig through, and a raised stage area for them to perform spontaneous shows for their forced-smiling parents: “Look Mom, I’m a rabbit!” Look-at-me is not a performance once you’re blowing out more than seven or eight candles on your birthday cake.

But the point-and-click pastiche continued. I think that Berg and Graf think they’re presenting the radical (read: maximal facetiousness) thought that identity is multiple and complex, and that a rapidly changing world accelerates the interaction between one’s inner selves and the selves one presents on the outside. Removing their clothes, pulling off and putting on their animal masks, stepping forward to deliver “I am” lines such as “I am a Hungarian lifeguard” and “I am a beauty queen from Venezuela, I used to be a man”—these are hackneyed signifiers that were coopted by authoritative bodies before these dancers’ parents were born. Think about Christine O’Donnell’s weird but affecting “I’m You” advertisement.
Or this equally creepy post-911 AdCouncil PSA
Or this Nikon ad.
Or this Orange ad.
Or this Microsoft ad.
And who could forget Nike’s retroactively psychosexual “I amTiger Woods” campaign?
I could go on with the links to ads, but the point is pretty clear that the “I am” listing thing was exhausted in Cicero’s time. It no longer holds water as a way of expressing many contained in one. Only someone who doesn’t read and doesn’t write would bother with it at this point. Only someone who watches a lot of TV and primarily interacts with humans via phones and laptops. Experience, as it were.

And of course Berg and Graf went on (say it with me) way too long with it. Once they ran out of their own lines, they threw in “I am” lines from popular songs. I think I might have remembered my middle school locker combination during this part. They sped it up and made it louder, mistaking volume for complexity and speed for anxiety. Harder and faster, any sex therapist will tell you, is not the way to satisfy your partner. In fact you get a negative result; it’s a setback.

Speaking of partners, the only worthwhile part of the piece came through the partner dancing. Some of this choreography expressed multiplicity: attraction/repulsion, threatening/caring. Some of it was ambiguous in a way that made me want to think about it to see if I could draw a conclusion. Say, isn’t that the meaning of the word “provocative?”

So once they reached a frenzy, all the dancers predictably fell exhausted and went to sleep on the stage. The horse crawled back to her mic to sing, before the sleepers began writhing (didya see that coming?) and the pig began an urgent solo that might have seemed poignant and focused if what had come before it had in any way set it up. Instead it merely fulfilled the obligation of a solo for one of the lead choreographers—something for the curriculum vitae, not the audience.

The most common weakness of dance theater is that there’s not enough dance. Although this piece was lacking in that way, it’s real dearth was on the theater end. Every narrative decision was as facile as possible. This part was fast? Let’s put a slow part after it! We need an ending? Let’s do what we did at the beginning over again!

The horse repeated her opening monologue. Everyone put their masks back on and had a group hyperventilation. For way too long.

Then the backdrop opens slightly to reveal a small abstract tableaux, and the rabbit enters with an electric squirt gun, with which he rustles the other dancers to the back of the set. They all sing a little song together. And the endless 60-minute piece ends.

No part of “Animal Lost” can be mistaken for having intelligence or any political or historical awareness behind it. Dance-wise, it was so portioned out that it never made a statement. Theater-wise, it so lacked dramatic structure that I had to wonder if the choreographers even know what that is. They were so distracted by their toys (masks, disguises, and guns—wait, are they kidnappers? or bank robbers?) that they never used their minds. So their movement and words meant nothing. Afterwards, I was left wondering only what I was supposed to buy. Or rather, what product I should now boycott.

Jagr-capping

TSN broke the story Thursday that Jaromir Jagr's agent had contacted 5 teams about playing again in the NHL next season. The teams: The Red Wings, Canadiens, Rangers, Crapitals, and Penguins.

One of the greatest scorers AND mullets.
I immediately did what every Jagr-obsessed fan should do: almost hyperventilated, fruitlessly scoured the internet about it for hours, and then slept with my Jagr jersey (1992 home jersey, with the ornithologically correct penguin on the shoulders and "Pittsburgh" spelled diagonally across the chest, worn for the second of his two Stanley Cup seasons with the Pens).

Never mind that Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist Dave Molinari dismissed the rumor with disgust (can't link to it because registration is required, though for some reason the site allowed me one viewing), not only belittling Jagr's ability on the cusp of his 40th birthday but also implying that any team with him on it would need chemotherapy or something. The real killer in his column, however, is that he had talked to the team's no-nonsense general manager Ray Shero, who's almost as responsible as Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Marc-Andre Fleury, and coach Dan Bylsma for the team's 2009 championship. Shero not only said that no one had contacted him but that he didn't want to be contacted.

Why not just come to my house and repeatedly hit me in the head with a shovel, Ray? Why not put billboards up nationwide telling children there's no Santa? Why not initiate a kitten-eating regimen as part of the team's offseason workouts?

2010 Olympic Jagr.
There are Penguins fans who hate Jagr, no doubt. His departure from the Steel City was weird and shameful. Many adjectives have been put before his name in recent years -- moody, lazy, schizophrenic, selfish, mercurial, soft, indecisive -- only occasionally deserved, in my opinion. But it's hard to have an opinion since he's been playing behind the iron curtain in Russia's KHL (50 points in 49 games for Avangard Omsk). We've glimpsed him playing for his Czech national team in the recent Vancouver Olympics (in which shithead-extraordinaire Alexander Ovechkin concussed him in such an act of villainy that I just had to punch a hole in the drywall thinking about it) and then in the World Championships this past spring where he led his team to a bronze medal with 5 goals and 4 assists in 9 games. Yeah, pretty lazy -- only a point per game in international play. What a bum.

Jagr's messy divorce from the Penguins is hard to explain. He suffered from depression, I think. The team was losing all of its good players to free agency because it had overpaid Jagr and Mario Lemieux for what the Pittsburgh market could support. They sold out games and still teetered on the verge of bankruptcy. Sometimes Jagr dominated; sometimes he sulked. In the late 90s he was stuck with centers like Jan Hrdina and still won scoring titles. Do yourself a favor and watch this reel of some of his best goals. No one else could do that, then. No one now could do that (maybe Crosby, maybe). Although they don't have to anymore because you can't drape yourself all over a forward like a wet blanket or clamp an arm and a leg around them without rightfully getting called for interference.

Who blows kisses nowadays? We need this!
And then there was the magical, mysterious year of 2001, when Lemieux came back and the Pens ran to the conference finals in the East, only to be hacked, hooked, and trapped to death by the dullsville New Jersey Devils in five ugly games. (Jacques Lemaire, I look forward someday to pissing on your grave for ruining a decade of the most beautiful game with your stultifying trap!) Something happened that year. In a locker room interview, Jagr famously said "I'm dying alive" on the ice. The Pittsburgh fans turned on him. He was traded to Washington where he turned in a few zombified years of play. Then he was traded to the New York Rangers, which rejuvenated him -- 123 points in 2005-2006 alone! But his play declined along with the team itself, and they parted ways in 2008. Jagr headed back to Kladno to see his dad and then to Omsk to play, where teenage sniper and Rangers draft pick Alexei Cherepanov died in his arms on the bench one night from a massive heart attack just after they skated a shift together. Shrouds and veils and occasional real darkness.

Why the change in 2001? Was it gambling and investment losses that were rumored to exceed $10million? Was it having to share the spotlight with Lemieux, a man who would have to divert the city's sewers into the confluence of the Monongehela and Allegheny Rivers and destroy the city with an army of mutant robots for any Pittsburgher to even conceive of saying a negative word about him? No one really knows but Jagr himself.

Jagr is equal parts intellectual and emotional. He's a poet, really. He wears the number 68 to commemorate his grandfather's death in prison during the 1968 Prague Spring rebellion. He loves games of chance. Even his play shows an existential awareness, a sense of the fruitlessness of it all, which he summons unprecedented will to overcome on one shift before succumbing to despair over and vanishing during the next. His style of play is a metaphor for the human condition -- something that meat-head Americans and Canadians never could resolve with their "play 110% every second and win win win" mentality. My first book has 68 poems in it because of him.

Bask in the happy Jagr smile.
Jagr's an artist. He is not meant to be completely understood. He is meant to be watched. He is meant to bring both joy and sorrow. He is meant to comfort, enthrall, and infuriate us before our inevitable deaths. We need him.

He should be back in the NHL. I don't care about the salary cap. I don't care that he's been out of the NHL for 3 years. Any team chemistry crap, I can deal with it. He should be a Penguin again. His orbit has come back around to us.

Anyway, I figured I would handicap his comeback chances. My caveat is that I haven't looked at the salary cap stuff at all. Cap management is about as interesting to me as progressive dental work.

Detroit Red Wings: 25-1. No way coach Mike Babcock even thinks for a moment that Jagr could play in their rigorous system. When it comes to defensive responsibility, Jagr's inconsistent. He has defensemen on his team for that! This wouldn't fly in Detroit, where scintillating offensive talent like Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg sacrifices points for systemic, complete play. Thus winning championships, by the way. Jagr would never agree that preventing a goal is as good as scoring a goal. Not a good fit.

New York Rangers: 20:1. How long would it take for Jagr to be in coach John Tortorella's doghouse? Ten games? Ten minutes? The fans in Madison Square Garden already have Marian Gaborik to direct their scorn towards, reserving their love for grinders with enough talent to tickle the twine here and there like Brandon Dubinsky. Plus, they just dumped Jagr in 2008. Why would they ask him out again? No chance on Broadway either.

Washington Crapitals: 12:1. The Caps have suffered under huge expectations these last few years, something most hockey fans have enjoyed identically to how we all loved seeing LeBron James (I insist upon rhyming his first name with Hebron) lose with such ignominy in the recent bouncyball finals. Regular-season juggernauts; post-season chokers. Ovechkin tries to do too much on this frankly soft team. If they don't have room to glide and skate and pass, they shift into a kind of bafflement that's pretty sickening to watch. A lot like the Penguins being put down by the Devils in 2001. Jagr's not the tonic for that. The odds are only a little lower because owner Ted Leonsis is just insane+rich enough to maybe freak out and sign Jagr on an impulse. But then, again, the fans in the nation's capital (DC, not Ottawa) already expunged number 68 once before.

Pittsburgh Penguins: 12-1. I have to be honest with myself because I don't want to get hurt. He's not coming back to Pittsburgh. Shero and Bylsma don't make decisions with their hearts. Not even a little bit. It's torturous, though, to consider Jagr in the mix with Crosby, Malkin, and Staal. Oh my god! That power play would be freaky deaky good! And how could Jagr not skate with unbridled joy on Crosby or Malkin's wing? It would be like 1996 all over again! Okay, I have to go take my shot now and blow on a pinwheel all day in a supervised garden behind the sanitorium.

Montreal Canadiens: 8-1. Probably the only one of the five teams that would really consider Jagr, after his chemistry with Hab Tomas Plekanec at the spring Worlds. It's a city he hasn't already exhausted. He's always said he would love to play for a Canadian team (Edmonton has left the light on for years for him, by the way). The fan base and media could handle his star power. There's the sense that the Habs are one player away from being a contender. He wouldn't look weird in their jersey (don't ask me to explain that). Also I wouldn't have to die a little inside in order to root for him, like if he was in Detroit or NYC or DC. Jags, if Pittsburgh is not in the cards, then I endorse a move to Montreal.

He stays in Russia: 2:1. After all, we have a long history of Jagr saying empty words to reporters. He knows that retirement is on the horizon. The money is in the uncapped, mob-run KHL. The ice surface is bigger so the hitting is less intense. He doesn't have to go into the corners if he doesn't want to. His family and life are in Russia and the Czech Republic. In the Olympics and Worlds, he interacted with old friends who play in the NHL, so he got nostalgic. American and Canadian reporters got to stick microphones in his face and ask him if he was coming back, so he answered their questions with a kind, shrugging "Why not?" But he's not crossing the Atlantic again.

Still.

His jersey, right now, is in my bed.

I think I'll go turn on my back porch light.

1.18.2011

the sky looks like a shattered lake
the sky is a shattered lake
the sky is not a shattered lake
the sky is like a shattered lake

the clouds look like frozen floes
the clouds are frozen floes
the clouds are not frozen floes
the clouds are like frozen floes

the texture of the cloud cover's undersurface
and the texture of an unevenly frozen lake
have visual similarities
the sky evokes an image of a shattered lake and a shattered lake evokes an image of the sky

1.17.2011

morning twilight walk around park, saw two things

where ellerbee creek emerges from beneath lavender avenue, against the mottled pink and purple sky reflected in glassy water stilled against an ice floe farther down, a silhouetted heron standing in the middle of the creek, looking down into its darkness

on the other side of the creek, a man talking into a cellphone pressed tight against his head inside his 'carnegie mellon rugby' hoodie, saying "and so i ask her, what the fuck have you done for me lately," his leashed dog shitting on the sidewalk by the blue play equipment

1.05.2011

Circles aren't circles

The sputum in the pharmacy parking lot, the yellowness of its initial landing gob connected to its as-yellow bounce by thin white strands

Sycamore bark doesn't reflect blue twilight the same way that dogwood petals do

Sycamore bark reflects blue twilight the same way that dogwood petals do

12.21.2010

One witnesses an event, and later describes it to others

At maximum occlusion, the lunar eclipse looked like the gummed, vestigial eye of a cave fish

Interrogation presumes the suspect’s guilt

At maximum occlusion, the lunar eclipse looked like the unshiny, scrimmed eye of a red snapper stacked on crushed ice at market

Steve Reich was going for the middle ground between mathematics and literature

At maximum occlusion, the lunar eclipse looked like a magic marker circle, smudged as the hand that drew it moved across to draw something else

At maximum occlusion, the lunar eclipse looked like the stained paper towels beneath a colander of washed cherries

One needs not describe a quantity

Merce Cunningham said “The eye tries to recognize what it already knows”

A solar eclipse is spectacular; a lunar eclipse, technical

One’s mind does not by default seek relief from repetition

Reich’s music describes nothing; John Cage’s establishes a negative capability for description

3 is 3 regardless of what it counts

One is inclined to believe a quantitative statement over a qualitative one

A confession is the only possible ending of an interrogation

The original word for an irrational number meant “mute,” as such numbers could not at that time in history be expressed

Sound requires a medium but light does not

Barred owls open conversation with couplets of “who cooks for you?” but then carry on to chaotic monkey cackles and howls

The Voyager spacecraft exited the heliosheath into the heliopause

In some contexts, 3 might be nearly 4, and in another context essentially 0

Emily Dickinson wrote “Eclipses suns imply”

In rounding, one can be said to look past a number

Fish do not fall

12.09.2010

just went to an artist's talk and kept dozing off

the heating oil cost $965

she expressed her frustration with that conceptual heisenbergian problem, that photographing the authentic thereby renders it inauthentic

i couldn't tell if she was sincere because she was very busy expressing her desire to be sincere or seem sincere. writing that, i feel a little mean toward her. but it's hard to not find all her work and words to be smoke obscuring either a lack of sincerity, a lack of content, or both

at some point, one has to take a photograph. everything's literal. there's no reason to be afraid of it

i am a little afraid now to run the heat. if i use the oil, then i will have used it, and will be that much closer to having to pay to replenish it

or. one could just look around

i think, though, that you can get neither grants nor degrees for that

there's that meanness again

it's 54degrees inside

work's not supposed to vanish, is it?

 
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